The Struggle Is Real!

This post seemed relevant to put up today as I am having one of those days! I actually wrote this post a few months ago but it just shows that although I have come out the other side with the struggles I was facing a few months back, there is always something going on that can drive you mad. ... . So the below was written before they were sleeping through. I'm posting it today as it really shows me that although I haven't been dealing with the same issues such as Ivy waking up in the night and me being so tired, I still feel the exact same today but for a completely different reason. I kind of feel like I took 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. I don't want this post to scare people or sound negative, I just feel like everyone has their moments and I want people to know they aren't alone when they feel like this. So here is my post from a few months back:

Now I don't want to sit here and just list off complaint after complaint because being a mummy to Blake and Ivy is everything to me. But we all have those days where we really could do with just shutting the door and hiding under the duvet! Instagram is great and I am a fan of social media but really it's so fabricated and can sometimes make you feel pretty crap. A lot of bloggers and influencers show only the good and again don't get me wrong I like to see it but sometimes I think we need reminding that everyone has tough shit days. I'm having one as I am writing this. I have been awake since 4am due to Ivy deciding that this was time to wake up and would not stop crying. She finally settled at 6.15 to which Blake then woke at 6.30am. Sleep deprivation can make any small problem feel like the worst thing ever. Some people may wonder why I am writing something like this and think it is a bit boring to read the bad stuff. But for me I want to be really open and honest and let people see that everyone struggles. However much it looks all perfect on social media .... it's not. Being a mum is hard work! It's amazing and rewarding but equally tiring and tough and I guarantee you every single mum at some point or multiple times even, would like to just run away for a bit.

Nothing really prepares you for motherhood. Nothing can. It's not a bad thing at all but obviously until you are in that moment it is hard to explain it to someone. The good and the ugly. I have to always remind myself when I am having one of those moments or bad days that tomorrow is a new day. And babies go through phases and nothing is permanent. When we had issues with Ivy's feeding I felt like it was never going to end. But then instead something else takes over like having issues with their day naps and before I knew it the feeding improved. Babies change so quickly, by the time you get used to one thing and really get into the swing of things, they change and then it's a new learning experience all over again. You find patience you never realised you had. And yes you also lose it like you never realised you could. Basically what I am trying to say is.... it's all NORMAL. unfortunately I think there are many people out there that want to paint this perfect picture that they are the best mum and their baby is the best behaved. Having a well behaved baby who is in a routine by 4 weeks old and sleeping through after a few months doesn't make that babies mum any better than another mum. It's a shame that we ever feel like we have to compete or fabricate how our evening was with our baby to somehow prove we are doing a good job. We are all doing amazing jobs!! Remind yourself that you made this tiny little person in your belly and everything you do is for them.

I feel like we need to empower each other more and be honest to help others feel like how they are feeling is OK. My first two weeks of Blake and Ivy's life I spent majority of it crying. This was not because I didn't want to be a mum. This was all down to my hormones going wild and i couldn't help but cry. I have always been so open and honest with anyone who asked me at the time how I was doing because I don't think it is something to be ashamed of. I still have my days where it all gets a bit too much and I need a good cry and then afterwards I am fine and Blake or Ivy do something like smile or chuckle and everything is worth it. We are all doing the best we can do and that's all our babies need. I hope that anyone reading this can relate when you are having one of those days and if it's today then have a good cry, shake it off, have a glass and wine and tell yourself tomorrow is a new day x