First Trimester

James and I got married in June 2015. We were 25 at the time and although James was ready to get going I was quite happy to wait a while before we started trying for a baby. As I am sure a lot of you will have experienced the common and annoying question, probably on the day of your wedding.... 'When are you going to have a baby?' I don't think anyone asking the question ever says it to be rude but if people really think about it wisely it's not the question you should really be asking. When we started trying I made the mistake very early on to be quite open about when we were going to try because people asked and I didn't see the harm at the time. Anyone who hasn't already... don't be so open. Time went by and I used to have people making comments like, 'I'm surprised you haven't had a baby yet' or 'I really thought you would be pregnant by now'. Unfortunately this is just ignorance and people need to understand that they have no idea what is happening behind closed doors and it can be a really sensitive situation.

12 months on and finally it was our time.

The first trimester was really tough for me. I felt so horrific and I really struggled. After wanting something for so long it was weird to have lost all the excitement and joy because I felt like death. Thinking that way made me feel so guilty because I knew that I had been really blessed by falling pregnant but I felt so unwell which made me feel really low. Before I took a test I had a few symptoms but I tried not thinking too much into it, as I had had so many negative tests, I tried to ignore them as I thought sometimes it was in my head. I did find that the period pains and ovulation pains I had off the pill were very different to on the pill so sometimes I had a new symptom which made me convinced I was pregnant but then I found I wasn't. One thing that really seemed different just before I got my positive test was having no energy and getting really sharp rib pains. I actually remember telling my mum about my rib pain and she told me she had that when she found out she was pregnant.

Also I remember the night before I took a test my nipples had completely changed (haha tmi sorry), but suddenly they were all lumpy and obviously I googled straight away and it said it was a common sign of early pregnancy! Didn't want to get my hopes up but it was correct.

From about week 4 the nausea and major food aversions kicked in. I literally couldn't eat anything! Everything I ever liked I couldn't bear the thought of but my nausea was so bad and the only time I felt remotely better was if I ate something but the thought of actually eating also made me feel worse so it was a vicious cycle until about week 13. It did improve around 10 weeks but still so hard to manage until I was into my second trimester. I have a bad phobia of sick which didn't help as I felt like I was going to vom pretty much every waking hour so I would go to bed at about 7pm and being asleep was the only time I felt normal. For the first few months of pregnancy James and I had to eat dinner separately because I couldn't stand the smell of any food. Before I was pregnant I was really healthy and all the foods I lived on when I was healthy I couldn't stomach throughout my whole pregnancy and only really just started eating some of the foods 3 months postpartum.

During my whole pregnancy I pretty much ate white food only. My diet consisted of bread, chips, pasta and cheese. I always thought I would be one of those pregnant people who was really healthy and a frequent gym goer with my tidy bump in my gym gear because I went so much beforehand. One of the reasons I went was so I was able to continue throughout pregnancy to stay healthy as you can carry on with exercise as long as your body is used to it. I didn't step into the gym once when I was pregnant. At the beginning I felt too ill to go, then I had no energy and then by the time I had the energy, my bump was so big I couldn't really do much and I was worried that I would end up over doing it and induce early labour.

It wasn't until about 9 weeks that I started putting on weight as I lost a bit earlier on because I couldn't stomach anything. My belly popped pretty quickly and it was a struggle to cover it up until my 12 week scan. I generally wear really baggy clothes anyway which is lucky but as it was getting warmer and approaching summer it was becoming more difficult. I didn't really socialise for the first 3 months because I would feel so sick that if I spoke I thought I would throw up and I am a talker so I felt it would be pretty obvious to anyone that something was wrong. I remember around 10 weeks pregnant I thought I would brave it and James and I went out for dinner with friends. This was at a point where the nausea was improving but sometimes worse at night. We went for dinner to this pizza place and literally as we arrived it hit me! I was like oh s*** I can't eat and I feel like I can't even talk lol. It was soooo obvious something was up as I had one slice of pizza and barely spoke! Then at 11 weeks I had to go to a wedding. It was such a struggle to find an outfit where I didn't look pregnant!! Knowing I had just a week left until I could announce, I put on a brave face although I felt so ill and got through it!!

I think anyone throughout their pregnancy counts down the days to the next scan just so you get to see that little person growing inside you and get that reassurance that everything is ok.

Our 12 week scan was perfect and they checked everything on both babies and everything was looking good. We told all our friends and family that day which was so lovely. It was also just so nice to finally get out and not feel self conscious of showing or eating differently or just being a bit quiet.

For anyone expecting twins or those who are mummies of multiples, they will understand the comments you get when you tell people you are expecting twins. I always felt like I had to tell people I was carrying twins even to strangers that would ask when I was due because I looked so big for the amount of weeks I was and I almost felt like I had to justify my size. Towards the end of my pregnancy I didn't bother because after months and months of the ignorant comments I couldn't be bothered to hear them anymore. I would have people respond saying things such as 'oh shame' or 'wow poor you'. I had people informing me I was going to have my hands full or that they felt sorry for me. It honestly would baffle me as to how people could make these comments to someone they didn't know and think it was ok. It got to a point where I would make comments back saying no don't feel bad for me I'm perfectly capable thank you. Don't get me wrong I also got so many lovely comments which always brightened my day but I will never understand the negative comments I got and why anyone thought it was ok to say them. Overall my first trimester was tough for me but I was always told the second was the best so I hoped I would feel more like myself. Just after we announced we went to Greece for a little babymoon which was lovely but maybe had we gone a bit later I would have enjoyed it a bit more because I still didn't feel well at all. It was still really nice to get away though! From speaking to friends and other people in general it's mad how different each pregnancy can be! Some are very lucky and feel great throughout. Others have such awful symptoms and it can be extremely challenging!! I guess it's just one of those things we have to battle through, knowing that please god at the end of it you are given the best gift ever!

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