Finding out there's two

So here is to my very first post on my new blog! Thank you to anyone reading this, hopefully you come back to read more.

So for anyone who is a mummy already you will understand that moment you see a positive on that test. For anyone who was trying for ages or still are it is a feeling you cannot describe, although I guess for some people it may not be what they quite planned for just yet.

My husband and I had been trying for a year and although looking back now that doesn't sound like a long time, it felt like an eternity living in that moment. It's hard when you are trying to not let it consume you. People always say the key is to relax but when it doesn't happen after a few months it's impossible to be chilled about it. After taking what seems like 100 tests over a period of 12 months, finally seeing that test read 'positive 1-2 weeks' still gives me goosebumps thinking about it. It's one of those moments that takes your breath away and you don't really know what to do. Well this is how I felt anyway. I remember suddenly bursting into tears and I was shaking! I went straight away to wake James up waving the stick in the air, which thinking about it now is kind of gross and it took him a few seconds to realise what was going on as he was completely out of it. Once he was awake and could actually focus on what I was showing him we both were so emotional and couldn't really believe it.

A flood of emotions came over me because as amazing as this was to see, I also feel like you cannot help but be slightly skeptical as you also know it's such early days and anything can happen.

I am a strong believer in the law of attraction and this became my thought process before I fell pregnant so I made sure this attitude was something I carried forward throughout my pregnancy. I made sure I only filled my head with positive thoughts and this really helped me. I found out I was pregnant so early which meant I had to wait so long for my 12 week scan.

Very early on my husband and I decided to get a scan at 7 weeks which you can get privately and at this point a heartbeat can be found if all is well. We actually ended up getting a scan at 6 weeks due to a slight scare but all was ok. I was warned a heartbeat may be hard to see so early on but vey quickly we could see a heartbeat which brought me to tears. Seeing this for the first time is just everything. All of a sudden you fall in love with this little thing that doesn't even look like a baby. The sonographer then casually spoke about looking around a bit more to check my ovaries and then went on to inform me I had released 2 eggs but only one had fertilised. However after about 5 minutes and a change of equipment to see things in more detail I was then informed in the most calm and casual manor that actually there were 2 babies. My first response was to laugh. Whether that was shock or nerves or just me not knowing what to say I'm not sure.

I felt so lucky to be pregnant but all of a sudden I had been double blessed with 2 babies. At this point I was told that the heartbeat couldn't be seen but as I was so early this was very normal and I needed to come back in a weeks time. We were so so excited to be told we had 2 babies but I was also nervous as I felt I needed to wait until the next scan to see if there were 2 heartbeats. It now made a bit more sense as to why I was feeling so so unwell as I had double the hormones!

Going into the scan thinking we have one baby and leaving knowing there were two was so surreal. We always wanted twins and I think because we felt we had waited a long time to fall pregnant it just felt so so special to think we were waiting and waiting and then two came along. I really do believe that I didn't fall pregnant until this point because I was meant to have 2 babies and this was my time for it to happen.

The week waiting for my scan was so tough but again I tried my best to stay positive and knew this was all I could do. The scan went so well and both heartbeats were found but we were informed that twins are high risk and nothing is certain and best to be cautious until 20 weeks but risks reduce massively by 10/12 weeks. So now it was a waiting game from this 7 week scan until our 12 week scan.

I was so unwell that I didn't really go out until I was able to tell friends why I felt so crappy. Luckily I work for myself so I was able to just stay at home which I did for about a month.

Getting used to being pregnant is so surreal but to think there are 2 tiny humans growing inside of you is just mind blowing. I started showing very early which I also found really difficult as no one knew I was pregnant and my stomach popped. I even had to go to a wedding at 11 weeks pregnant and not only did I majorly struggle with an outfit to hide my growing bump but I felt so so sick and I was so used to going to bed at 7pm but not being about being able to do this was challenging.

Once I had my 12 week scan I told all my friends and family which was such a relief. It was funny because to all my friends I went from having no tummy to looking so pregnant. I guess one of the benefits of carrying twins is that you miss that awkward stage of are you fat or are you pregnant.... I did really go from no belly to being pregnant overnight.

Once we got to 20 weeks I decided to announce my pregnancy on social media and the word spread through friends of friends and it is amazing how twin mummies stick together!! I've made friends with twin mummies with such ease as I feel we really all do want to help one another and that is really one of the main reasons I decided to start a blog. Not only to give advice and tell my story to other twin mums but to all mums or soon to be mums or women trying to become mummies!

I hope that you enjoy each of my posts and there are things you can relate to and as I mentioned please feel free to message me and ask any questions or let me know what you would like any of my future posts to be about.

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